The goody and the baddy: finding your feet in life!

So Owen has been sent up to bed and has had quite a few tellings off today…he has been argumentative with Ethan, not letting him join in with his army soldier game. Then he let him join in but poor Ethan could not do anything right so he was telling him off every two minutes. Poor Ethan.  

Later Mark cooked a delightful tea and Owen after 3 plate fulls told Mark it was a horrible meal! Charming! At this point he went up to his room for ten minutes where I went to discuss with him how disrespectful it was of him to say that. I also explained that there was no logic to his argument as he had three platefuls.  Surely I asked him that suggests you liked it! He said he did and he didn’t understand why he said it… I also talked to him about school and how he always says Ethan is his best friend and always looks after him when he’s sad at school and Ethan wanted to play so it would have been kind to let him and be nice to him as he would be sad to play on his own.

Lastly, after letting him downstairs again, he spilt some bubble liquid, which was fine as it was an accident but then thought it was funny, so tipped the rest out! When I told him off for tipping it out as Ethan was enjoying playing with the bubbles, he ran to his dad because I’d shouted and then lied! He told mark I’d told him off for nothing and he’d just spilt it yet I’d just seen him tip it out right in front of me! Ooh… lying is the worst and playing one parent off against the other was the last chance saloon! So he was sent to bed for the rest of the evening!

It’s so sad when they misbehave and it’s so hard cos you’re trying so hard to teach them right from wrong. You don’t want to be mean but at the same time if they aren’t learning by their errors it needs you to intervene. 

What was interesting was when I went back upstairs to chat to him. He was crying and I sat down next to him to chat.  He said he was so confused because he’s a goody on the inside but there’s a baddy on the outside and he wishes the baddy wasn’t there cos he wants to be the inside goody. It was very perceptive of him so I went with it and explained that everyone has a bit of baddy but we have to try not to listen to the baddy in us but we have to listen to the goody. Sometimes the goody can’t defeat the baddy and we do something bad, but the goody must make sure that they defeat the baddy next time he tries to do the same thing and learn by his bad actions.

It was a good conversation and I was impressed with Owen’s perceptive understanding of his subconscious mind. I was very proud of him at that point: his tears showed me he cared, his analogy was perceptive and concise and it seems he’s a thinker and has quite an analytical brain. I’m proud of him. Mad for his behaviour but proud for his analysis. 

He said he loved me lots and lots and super amounts like a mountain…I’ll take that…

I find being a mum very interesting, observing their behaviours and actions. This was a very fascinating moment.  

He is finding his feet in life and working out his personality but the way he is with animals and his young baby cousin and how cuddly and loving he is, I know he’s a good boy. Keep seeking the answers little man. Life is tough and you’ll get there xx